Yesterday

Christmas just doesn't come without the bittersweet anymore. I've gone back and forth about writing this, but I can't seem to let it alone. Yesterday Matt dropped in on us out of the blue. We knew he was in jail - he was there about a week. We were both pretty much on our way out to work. We gave him food - breakfast and a bag of portable stuff. We gave him money that we'd set aside for his Christmas. We gave him the new shoes his grandma had bought him for Christmas. We let him take a shower and gave him a bag of toiletries. Then Jim drove him to his probation officer and went on his way.

He doesn't seem to have changed. It wrenches my heart to keep him so much on the outside of our lives, but he only brings chaos when we let him in, and now we have small children in the house that don't need to witness it. Matt can make better choices, but I'm afraid those choices won't be available to him too much longer. And he doesn't seem inclined to do one thing differently. He needs or prayers, but I think that's all the support we have for him now.

In the meantime, Jim and I spent the day feeling wounded and wishing there were another way of handling it. The good news, I guess, is that we did handle it and went on with our lives. Thanks for being there, everyone.

Quiet Christmas

Christmas day is drawing to a close, and I think it was one of the most peaceful we've ever had. Not everything was perfect. There were members missing from the family circle. Little kids got cranky and a little overexcited. But it was nice. Each of us ended the day feeling like it had been wonderful. No thoughts of unfulfilled wishes and a lot of understanding that Christmas is for being together and appreciating what we have.

Mike and Scott, we missed you. I hope your day was also filled with joy and peace. Know that you are loved.

Reading Goal

I realized today that there was a goal buried deep in my heart - I really thought I could easily read 100 books in the year 2010. Well, unless I spend the next week and a half reading, I'm not going to make it.

So for the coming year it's official: I WILL read at least 100 books. I will save myself from countless hours of watching mindless tv. I will read at night to relax, maybe freeing me from the need to plug into my Ipod to get to sleep. And I will make some headway on the ever-growing list of books I want to read.

Anyone want to join me in the challenge?

I Do Like Rainy Days

I do like rainy days. I do like rainy days.

Except when it's the weekend and the kids are not in school. If we'd been smart, we would have let the go outside in rainboots and get wet. That's why we have rainboots, right? Instead we're stuck with two wiggle worms who can't possibly go to sleep because they've been inside all day. You'd think I'd know, huh.

Oh, well. Back to the Y and daycare tomorrow.

So This Is Christmas

After three bouts with the flu, it has been feeling like Christmas just wasn't going to get done this year. So many things to finish. The house to clean. Packages to mail. Decorating that we always do still sitting in boxes.

But then I noticed a few little things. Mackenzie singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" the minute she gets out of bed. Christian counting the days. Children staring out the front window at the neighbors' Christmas lights. Christian singing along to Christmas music on the Ipod when he's going to sleep.

Christmas is here. If we don't do another thing, we're all set. What I have to do is to let go of what "perfect" Christmases were in the past and appreciate the one we have right now.

Giving Thanks

Yesterday was one of the most restful Thanksgivings I can remember. The last couple of holiday seasons have been difficult. Holidays have always meant family time together, wild and noisy, and our little Southern California sector of the family just seemed to get smaller and smaller. On more than one occasion, I've found myself thinking, "This isn't what I thought it would be." The picture in my head and heart has always been of children and grandchildren gathering together, and in today's world, that just isn't possible very often.

But a new holiday feeling is emerging. Our family circle has expanded to include my stepsister and her husband, who have not often been there to celebrate with us. What started out uncomfortable is now becoming pleasant. It's like new life has been injected into our family group. We all had such a good time this Thanksgiving. (Mom maybe less so, as she washed all the pans.) This was the first year in a long time that we all sat down at the Thanksgiving table together, not spread across two rooms. The grandchildren were respectful of the holiday feeling, pretty good manners at the table, eager to have their part in the holiday. The food was really good, and I think everyone felt appreciated.

A real Thanksgiving memory was established. Thanks, Mom, for having all of us. It will be wonderful when some of the rest of you can join us. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.

I can't wait for Christmas!

I Don't Have All of the Answers

I really love my kids and I've worked hard to be there for them, whatever the need. But, you know what? I don't have all the answers. And if I spend all of my time trying to figure out how to solve their problems, when will they either learn to find their own solutions or decide to live with the consequences of their choices. So from this moment on, I will strive to be the cheerleader. I might look a little silly out there jumping up and down, but I'll bet my heart will be lighter if I trust them to take that next step themselves.

We've Got Weather

I'm not sure we haven't been transported to another state! Lightning and thunder crashed through the night and left us briefly with no power this morning. The poor dog had to be tricked into going outside, and when the cats insisted they had to go out, they dashed right back in. It's fun, it's wonderful, and hopefully it won't last so long we get tired of it.

Rain in October in California! Thanks!

Song for Ireland

For some reason I've taken a lot of trips down memory lane in the past couple of weeks. The very first evening we ever spent in Ireland was with Janet and Tom. At the end of the evening we ended up at The Plough, a pub located kitty-corner from the Abbey Theater. It was our first Irish pub. It was crowded and we felt lucky to snag the only table in a little tiny balcony that overlooked the rest of the pub. We were downing our first pints, listening to the musicians playing to the noisy crowd below. As they started playing "Song for Ireland," it seemed like everyone else in the pub began to sing along. I hope I can insert this link properly; this song still makes my heart soar

Checking In

Not much to say here, but it's been a while. We're settled into the new school routine with a minimum of fuss. Waiting for real fall weather - 90+ temperatures have go to go. Mourning the loss of an uncle and wishing we could all be together.

I heard Grandma Norris's voice in the library a while back. Not really, of course; I quickly connected the voice I heard to one of our computer patrons. But for a few brief moments I was joyful and felt that all was well with the world. The incident keeps coming back to my mind in various ways. What does she think about all of us? Are we passing muster? Is she frowning at that sarcastic tone I used with Rosanne the other day? And all of that is important to me. The bottom line is that I would like my children and grandchildren to feel about me the same way I feel about her. Tough shoes to fill.

I may be in trouble, though - I saw Jim's mom in my exercise class.

Update (and Excuses, I Guess)

I keep meaning to add something here, but somehow just haven't had the time/inspiration to do it. My primary excuse is that I'm waiting for the pictures. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I was reading a book the other day and came across this line (paraphrased): Sometimes I feel like I spend my life pulling boulders up the hill, and every time I let loose just a little bit, one of them goes rolling back down to the bottom. In my first "aha" moment I was thinking, "This describes my life exactly" and I spent the next few minutes wallowing in and thoroughly enjoying my self pity. Then another thought hit me: Who made me responsible for pulling all those boulders anywhere? Hmmm.

Difficult Conversations

I'm here at the reference desk eavesdropping on a conversation going on at the other end. I'm not sure what the topic is, and it's not important. What's drawing my attention is the string of one-liners coming out of this person's mouth, one after the other. How do you have a real conversation with someone like that?

We have a neighbor that is much the same way - no matter what you're talking about, he has zinger after zinger. I sometimes feel that he just plain isn't interested. I also end up worn out - it's a lot of work having to constantly "react."

Silly post, I know.

We've Joined the 21st Century

We've joined the 21st century and you may never see us again! AT&T came out yesterday and installed new services - phone, computer, cable. Jim and I will spend the next couple of weeks trying to get our address books straightened out. When we're not doing that, we'll be watching tv. I already recorded Ghost Hunters and one episode of The Tudors. Rosanne cruises the movie channels and Jim just likes poking around to see what we get. Christian was thrilled because he could watch The Upside Down Show (better you shouldn't ask) on the UPSTAIRS tv! With the addition of the Netflix movies through the Wii, we're in serious danger of being in tv overload.

So you may never see us again!

Leave me some suggestions of what we just can't miss!!

Checking In

We had a great day today. Mom came down to see Christian's last t-ball game of the season. The weather swung back and forth between cool and warm - lots of puffy clouds and a gentle breeze. We all had pizza at the team party and Christian loves his bobble-head trophy. Each player got a special award - his was for the Season's Best Hit. Rosanne and I cleaned a cupboard and Jim and the kids washed a car. We were busy and all felt like we accomplished something.

In addition to the dog, three cats and two birds, we are now watching over an aquarium of tadpoles. They aren't staying - as they turn into frogs the neighbor's taking them home to his pond. I'm sure you can't see them in this photo, but the playhouse porch is where they're living for the time being.

Knitting has slowed down considerably since I finished Kenzie's cape. The books I've requested at the library are coming fast and furiously, too fast for me to keep up with them. I just finished a fun ghost story called The Tale of Halcyon Crane by Wendy Webb. It's really pretty close to being a gothic novelty. A fast read that I had a hard time putting down. Denny, you might like it; Scott and Mike, give it a miss, I think.

So tell me, what's your favorite ghost story.

Little Red Riding Hood & Roller Coaster

A more skillful blogger would be able to arrange these pictures artistically, but this is about the best I can do. I just wanted to let you know that we've all been busy around here, me on knitting a "Red Riding Hood" cape for Kenzie and Jim on roller coaster construction. Wish you could all be here to enjoy them with us. By the way, despite the look in her eye, Mackenzie is not on mind-altering drugs. And the little passengers in the roller coaster scream as they head down the dips!

Another Book Recommendation

False Mermaid by Erin Hunt. You guys gotta read this one.

Scott, I hope you have pictures from the Elton John concert.

They're Finished

A little big, but I love them!

Book Recommendation

I'm reading a really interesting book right now - brothers of mine, you may have already read it - called Confederates in the Attic. The author is Tony Horwitz. The author is a journalist who finds himself wrapped up tracing the progress of the Civil War as it still exists today. It almost makes you want to be a re-enactor, but it doesn't make me feel very comfortable about living in the South.

Keep It Positive

Much of the time I find myself dwelling on the negative things going on around here. But you know, life ain't all that bad. On the up side:

1. I'm really enjoying that water aerobics class I'm taking, and one day when I couldn't make it, I went to the gym to ride the recumbent bicycle for a while.

2. I'm not as "creaky" as I was; my joints don't hurt anymore. I suppose that has to do with item #1.

3. I love cold, rainy weather and was kind of sorry to see winter slip away, but the sunshine and days of scattered showers have been pretty nice.

4. We had a parent/teacher conference for Christian yesterday, and he's really doing well! Yeah!

5. We miss Jim's presence because it seems like he's always locked away in his office, but we're grateful that he has plenty of work to do.

6. I'm rearranging my days so that I schedule in the things I WANT to do before the things I SHOULD do, making me a more cheerful person.

7. I really love my job and look forward to the hours I spend there. Not everyone can say that.

This was a very "me" oriented post, but it helps me to put it out there to remind myself of just how good I have it.

Love you all.

Of Things Genealogical

So have any of you been watching "Who Do You Think You Are" on Friday nights? I've been planning my Friday evenings around it, much to the amusement of the Friday night wine sippers in the neighborhood. Wouldn't it be fun to find some really fun and significant story in the family tree, but you probably have to be a celebrity to earn that privilege.

It's had me thinking though. What is the one question you would like to have answered about our family forebears? Come on, you guys - there has to be one. I want to know why Richard Long came to the United stats, and what were the circumstances of his coming. (Does that qualify as one question?) I don't think it's as simple as the famine; he was able to buy land pretty soon after he got here. So why? Any ideas? Jim thought perhaps Richard inherited money instead of land and was able to make the move. Tell me what you think and then give us a question to discuss.

T-Ball Season Begins

I really had forgotten how much fun t-ball is. Some kids will really hit the ball, while others hit the tee or just manage to tip the ball off the tee into the dirt in front of home plate. Five adults (at minimum) stand on the field to point the runners in the right direction or to remind the fielders to pick up a rolling ball and then to throw it. Even when a fielder manages to get the ball to first base ahead of the runner, the runner gets to stay on base. And when the last kid on the team bats, everyone already on base gets to run the bases to finish their runs.

The kids all look confused and there's a lot of good-natured shouting going on. Kids beam when they hear their parents and teammates cheer for them.

I love it and it's just too funny!

And Here It Is!

The second sock is on the needles!!

One Sock Almost FInished

I'm about six rows away! I may not have made the Olympics challenge, but I will finish these socks.

Progress Report

First sock about 2/3 finished!

Knitting Olympics

Last night I threw caution to the wind and joined the Yarn Harlot's Knitting Olympics. The challenge is to select a knitting project (not too easy) to start during the Olympic's opening ceremony and then to have that project be completed before or during the closing ceremonies. I selected a sock pattern knit called "Ramage." I'm sure none of you are particularly interested, but I'm going to use the blog to track my progress.

I'm going to have to speed things up - I got about 1" completed last night. Picture to follow.

Our Chuck E. Cheese Visit

This was definitely my favorite part of Mackenzie's Chuck E. Cheese birthday - Mackenzie hiding under the table to get away from the big mouse. Everything else was pretty fun, but this was the funniest!!

Happy New Year

Just wanted to say Happy New Year to all of you. Here's hoping the year is bright and beautiful!